I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling to see the light through the foggy darkness. See, Jesus, and His ways, His purposes, His plans... they're all the lighthouse. And I'm out here, distracted by all this fog. I'm not a fan of it. I know there's a light. But You Never Let Go (the Matt Redman song ♥) just came to mind... so good.

I absolutely love it. We sang it at camp my first or second year. So many amazing memories with it. Plus, the lyrics speak so much to me. I remember that no matter what, God has a purpose and a plan. So no matter what we're going through, we just have to keep the faith. It's so cliche, but it's still so true. No matter what, if we hold onto God's promises, and His hope, and His amazing love we'll make it. He works all things for good unto those that love Him. I hold onto that so strongly. If I didn't have His promises for the best ending possible, I wouldn't have purpose or reason in continuing life. And I am very glad to have purpose and everything for life. So very thankful. I am thankful for how far I've come. How far Christ's love has carried me. Words cannot express His unending patience with me. I've screwed up in more ways than I'd like to admit, but He's stuck with me through it all, always showing me how to work even my stupidity for good. The bad things I've been through, they strengthen my faith. They teach me things about endurance, and decisions, and love, that I'd never know if I didn't stick through it. I'd rather be here right now, wondering how I'm going to handle situations that are facing me, but trusting Jesus to get me through them all, than being bitter about my past. Yes, things still hurt. And yes, I still question God as to why on earth He chose to let so many terrible things into our lives... but I do not question that He has good intentions with everything He allows. Big plans and biiiig love are in His heart and mind for us. He's got so much goodness piled up for us, He has to plan all this stuff out so we don't get spoiled. I think it's like eating your broccoli before you can have your pudding! No kid wants to eat the broccoli, but they gotta do it for their health, and to get to the really good stuff. That's like life!

So I thank God for all we've been through. Together and apart, we had deep wounds from it all, but they're healed now, because of His wonderful healing. ♥ There might still be scars as reminders, (like sad reminders, or consequences from our screw-ups still affecting us!) but His love overcomes it all. We can use them all as building blocks in our relationship with Him. He holds us through the night, so we can walk and sing in joy when the morning comes. : )

So much love in my heart right now!

~Natalie ♥

P.S. - Please pray that my throat is nothing serious! It's getting worse. : ( (It diiiid get me out of Wednesday night church, though. Ha ha. Yes, I missed the fellowship, but everyone needs a break here and there. I definitely needed the time I got alone with God tonight. Just one-on-one, no distractions. Loved it.)