:'(

There's sorrow out there.

And, I'll be honest, it steals me away all too often. I don't know whether I struggle with depression, or if this is just me being crazy. I really do not know what the deal is. I never have a good reason. Ever. But, right now, I think God is trying to get me to learn to seek Him out for my joy, and rely on His promises to get me through the harder days.

Today was honestly pretty bad. I was just fine in the morning, (jk, I slept in until 12 P.M. ...) had some amazingly wonderful Bible time, but by 4 P.M. I was dead. I was so depressed. Sitting at the dinner table around 7 P.M., I nearly busted up in tears. I had no reason. I was even finding ways to take it out on Joey. (I really can be terrible to him when I'm not happy... I can't stand it.) My mom noticed how upset I looked (GOD BLESS THAT WOMAN!!) and I just brushed it off. I ended up flat on my stomach on my bed after dinner, bawling my eyes out. But my wonderful mother... she came in and talked to me. She told me how she understood, and how she goes through it, too. How when we're working our butts off to get closer to God, we sometimes end up struggling with the worst depression ever. She compared it to the prophet Isaiah. He was part of an amazing victory with God, and after that he was so depressed he wanted to die. (Been there!) (I think it was Isaiah, anyhow. She might have meant Jeremiah.) Anyways. It happens. We experience depression. And we have to keep focusing on the fact that it will not last forever.

This thought, that it will not last forever... it carried on when I sought out scriptures concerning depression. Here are the verses I found that really brought strength back to my heart!

"O LORD, You are my lamp. The LORD lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection."

-2 Samuel 22:29-31 

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

 -Psalm 34:18

 

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."

Revelation 21:4

These verses really just spoke to my heart. I felt the Lord's sweet Spirit telling me it was gonna be okay. It doesn't matter that I feel like I can't go on. I will go on, anyways. And He will be there with me, lighting my darkness, staying my joy, always. His comfort is always there for me. And, someday, sorrows will be defeated. The only tears I'll experience will be for joy! I just have to persevere.

Anyways. This is just what's on my heart lately. I really needed to sort this all out into words, and here it is! Mission accomplished.

Love and prayers, and support!

~Natalie