I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling to see the light through the foggy darkness. See, Jesus, and His ways, His purposes, His plans... they're all the lighthouse. And I'm out here, distracted by all this fog. I'm not a fan of it. I know there's a light. But You Never Let Go (the Matt Redman song ♥) just came to mind... so good.

I absolutely love it. We sang it at camp my first or second year. So many amazing memories with it. Plus, the lyrics speak so much to me. I remember that no matter what, God has a purpose and a plan. So no matter what we're going through, we just have to keep the faith. It's so cliche, but it's still so true. No matter what, if we hold onto God's promises, and His hope, and His amazing love we'll make it. He works all things for good unto those that love Him. I hold onto that so strongly. If I didn't have His promises for the best ending possible, I wouldn't have purpose or reason in continuing life. And I am very glad to have purpose and everything for life. So very thankful. I am thankful for how far I've come. How far Christ's love has carried me. Words cannot express His unending patience with me. I've screwed up in more ways than I'd like to admit, but He's stuck with me through it all, always showing me how to work even my stupidity for good. The bad things I've been through, they strengthen my faith. They teach me things about endurance, and decisions, and love, that I'd never know if I didn't stick through it. I'd rather be here right now, wondering how I'm going to handle situations that are facing me, but trusting Jesus to get me through them all, than being bitter about my past. Yes, things still hurt. And yes, I still question God as to why on earth He chose to let so many terrible things into our lives... but I do not question that He has good intentions with everything He allows. Big plans and biiiig love are in His heart and mind for us. He's got so much goodness piled up for us, He has to plan all this stuff out so we don't get spoiled. I think it's like eating your broccoli before you can have your pudding! No kid wants to eat the broccoli, but they gotta do it for their health, and to get to the really good stuff. That's like life!

So I thank God for all we've been through. Together and apart, we had deep wounds from it all, but they're healed now, because of His wonderful healing. ♥ There might still be scars as reminders, (like sad reminders, or consequences from our screw-ups still affecting us!) but His love overcomes it all. We can use them all as building blocks in our relationship with Him. He holds us through the night, so we can walk and sing in joy when the morning comes. : )

So much love in my heart right now!

~Natalie ♥

P.S. - Please pray that my throat is nothing serious! It's getting worse. : ( (It diiiid get me out of Wednesday night church, though. Ha ha. Yes, I missed the fellowship, but everyone needs a break here and there. I definitely needed the time I got alone with God tonight. Just one-on-one, no distractions. Loved it.)

Generosity

Long time, no post, right? It seriously has been a while... Haven't had a whole lot to say!

I've had a sore throat and stuffy head since yesterday . . . the soreness was on the left side of the throat yesterday, and today it's inching to the right! Odd! Ha ha. It's alright, though. I like cuddling up on the couch, eating soup and crackers, and watching endless amounts of television. Best ever. Ha ha ha. It's been quite alright.

I finally had some decent Bible time this morning. I've been failing to do it in the morning before anything else lately . . . Sad, right? I can't stand it, but I just keep being lazy. Shame on me.

But this morning, I read 2 Corinthians 9. I did chapter 8 last night . . . So, God's been talking to me about generosity a lot lately. Which shouldn't be surprising considering the fact that I'm such a stingy person, ha ha ha. But I do really need to work on that. I should be generous with the things that I have, because all good things come from God, and God gives to all His people so very generously. How can I be like Him if I don't give freely of my time, things, and money? Silly me. So that's what I'll be working on. : )

And I sang my new song in the evening service at church Sunday night. Man was I nervous! But I prayed and prayed up until I sang and God got me through it. And now my throat hates me. Ha ha. Really good timing. It was already hurting some Sunday night, but my voice was fine.

I'm still really thankful for my amazing friends, of course. Everyone's been praying for my little throat to stop hurting. How sweet! It's paying off, ha ha. And I very much love my wonderful Joey. Still. Hee hee.

Oh, and my mom's chicken noodle soup was amazing yesterday! Had it with some biscuits . . . I'm ready to get fatty mc hatty!

Love and blessings,

~Natalie

I didn't wear make-up...

But I feel like that's perfectly alright. : ) God made me beautiful. We're all made in His image, and there's nothing more beautiful than that.

Anyways, I wrote this song. I thought I'd share it, since it's from the heart. I prayed for some guidance on it, since I plan on playing it for church Sunday night. Feedback is always acceptable. ; ) Ha ha.

Now that I've got that out of the way . . . Wow. What a week. Things have worn me down, things have built me up! I think the wearing down seemed to happen a little bit more . . . ha ha. Ever feel like church should be your spiritual recharge? I'm missing that a lot more now. I don't know what the deal is, but that's just how I feel. I end up doing so much at church, and doing so much for it, I barely get anything out of it anymore. I'm praying for a change of heart, and I'm praying for our youth leader especially, since he's nothing but annoyed with Wednesday nights now. That wears me out a lot. I need some recharge and showing up at church just wears me down now. Get there, practice once, practice again, do the real deal, sit through a lesson, go do the other real deal, sit through another real service . . . go home for a couple of hours, then go back for choir. More music for the evening, another sermon, then eventually go home and maybe sleep?! Yeah, Sundays are long. Such long, long, looooong days. I can't handle it without God. He helps me out so much on these days that are too much for me. Wednesday nights are even pretty brutal. Show up and get lectured about how we're a terrible youth group. It's really disappointing because I have to do all my work with God alone at home . . . However, I'm really thankful for it, too. It's made me work harder to get close to God. It's not like I don't get anything out of the sermons. I really do. I forget them quickly, but it doesn't mean I don't get anything out of them, ha ha. I just do so much better at home. ( : And I'm glad that I have a tangible relationship with God outside of the church.

Which reminds me!!!

One of the best things ever . . . I did it for the devotional us girls are doing . . . Go on a literal walk with God. There's this nature trail by my house . . . wonderful walk with God. Just talking with Him, telling Him how much I love Him, and really soaking up His love for me. I did it on Thursday. The weather was lovely on top of lovely, and His creation is wonderful. Nothing is more beautiful than our Wonderful Lord's creations! He's my favorite artist. : )

Also, I read Mark 12 tonight. Definitely spoke to me! Especially verses 38 through 40. I have to sing Sunday night, and I want to make sure I'm doing it humbly before God, not proudly and for praise in the church. Pray for me! I need to be humbled before I go up on that stage!

My nephew is such a blessing! He's such a sweet boy. I got to babysit him tonight. Loved it. : )

Anyways, long night! Nighty night!

Love, prayer, and blessings!!

~Natalie M.

Super long week... yay!

Hey, everyone. ( :

It's been a while, right? I go from posting almost (if not more than) every day, and all of a sudden you hear nothing from me. No, I haven't turned my back on all you lovelies. Ha ha. I actually had my internet disconnected--say what?! Yeah, you heard me. First, my dad forgot to pay the cable bill, which I find hiiiilarious. And then Comcast just couldn't seem to make it work. So, dad's deciding to go with SureWest instead. Also at the cost of ditching cable television. It's okay, though. We'll live. And I'll enjoy being able to watch JCTV again, ha ha ha. I'm so cool. I seriously do love that channel, though. Christian music videos, and there was this one show that I think was called H2o or something that was really good. I'll have to check and see, because there are some awesome programs on that station. And the roadtrip one was fun, too. And nobody has any clue what I'm talking about, right? Ha ha ha ha.

Anyways. I'm at the library now. We still have another week until we get internet again. I've been dyyyying to post! There's been so much on my mind!

Okay, first thing on the agenda, (gotta do this fast, I only have 35 minutes to finish this post!! AH! LAWLZ I'm a fast typer, no worries) I've gotta tell you all about the book "Jesus Freaks" by dc Talk. It's amazing. It chronicles many stories of so many people in the persecuted church throughout history, and current, in closed-door countries. Many of these people are being persecuted for their beliefs by communists. It's so sad. But the book isn't just story after story of death and fear and destruction... I can honestly say it's encouraging. These people stand strong in their faith, boldy proclaiming the Good News when threatened with torture and death. They're willing to put their lives on the line to further God's Kingdom. I think that is absolutely amazing. How can we, who have nothing like that to threaten our joy, be scared of something as silly as judgement, and allow that to hinder God's work? We're ridiculous. We should be spreading out and boldly spreading Christ throughout the nations. This book has also burdened my heart for prayer. We should all be praying that the persecuted will stay strong in their faith, and that God would continue to keep them safe, strong, and loving. These people dare to love those that beat them senseless. It's truly amazing. Pray for their oppressors. Pray that they will see Christ in the Christians they want to see destroyed. Pray that these people will reach their persecutors with God's love. It's happened many times before, and it can continue to happen. Pray that the insane laws (such as the blasphemy law in Pakistan, which requires that those who reject the Koran and Muhammed's teachings should be put to death) to be thrown out. Their burdens are great, and so should our burden for prayer and action be. ♥

Next up! : ) Giving up our lives for Christ... man, this is something God's been slamming me with lately in my Bible studies. Whoever holds onto his life will lose it, and whoever lets go of their life for Christ will gain eternal life. Amazing, radical teachings. We have to give up our lives to put ourselves in teh center of God's will to experience what a real life is. It's crazy!

One of the biggest things I struggle about following God's Will is giving up everything that I want, all my selfish desires. It's easy for me to mistake emotions and junk like that and use them as a way of saying I'm following God... how foolish of me. I need to give up all that. What I follow is God's Word, and His Spirit. Nothing else. Not advice from friends, nothing like that. It's all about God. So, pray for me to pull through on this! I need to refocus!

I think it was Psalm 92 or 93 I wanted everyone to read. It's all just a huge heart of praise. Loved it. I hope everyone will check it out!

Peace, love, blessings, and prayer,

~Natalie

P.S. - I totally wanna remind my friends that I really am praying for them! I pray that you'll grow deeper in your relationship with the Lord, falling in love with Him more and more every day. And I pray that you'll be strong in your convictions, never wavering. And that you'll all find joy and love everywhere you go. I love you all!