Yay! Excitement!

I'm so pumped! I sorted things out with my friend that the last post was my steam-blower about, haha. So, we're going shopping today, and I finally get to buy a Bible for my friend that I promised to get him for Christmas if I got a job. It's gonna be a late Christmas for him, but he has been honestly seeking out God, so I'm really exciting to be able to equip him with God's infallible Word. :D I'm just so pumped! I'm praying that God will guide me to select the right one for him, and that he'll read it often and seek out the truths held within. I'm so blessed to have the money to do this right now. So many people have given to me the last few days, and I want to give to God's work now that I have this kind of money. And make good on my promises! I'm so so so excited! I also super duper love Bible shopping, anyways, cuz I love books, and what better book than the Bible?! Hahah. So very blessed. I can't wait!

And we have church tonight! I can't wait to see my friends! Yayyy. :)

I also really love this laptop I got for my birthday. I mean, really, I'm so blessed! YEAH!! WOOHOO! Thank You, Lord! ♥

WOWWW

Just got called a bad Christian for telling one of my friends not to date a guy who isn't a Christian. She told me that I was judging him up and down just because she didn't know what his specific religion was. I didn't judge him at all. I don't doubt that he's a really great guy. But if he has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then she would know, and then I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, since it's very apparent that he's not, I don't think it's a good idea at all. And calling me a bad Christian for watching out for a friend is kind of one of the worst things you could do.

Sometimes, I feel like even though she says she appreciates all I do for her, she just sits there and destroys our friendship. Like she's trying. I mean, who does that? BLUGH. It's really frustrating and we're all good now, but it's just hurtful and I can't wait to run all this crap off tomorrow. I'm gonna focus on the positives in my life and know that she didn't mean to offend me. (JK, she definitely did. It was her way of slapping me in the face.) But whaaaatever. I have a better life than to dwell on this and blow it up. I just needed to vent it all out. I'll keep praying for and loving on my friends, no matter what happens. And keep running to get rid of the steam, ha ha.

Beautiful ♥

These are the lyrics to Kari Jobe's song, "Beautiful," on her self-titled album. I absolutely love how straight up worshipful and simple the whole album is, and I hope these words bless you today. You can listen to the song on YouTube if you like.
Here, before Your altar,I am letting go of all I've held;Of every motive, every burden,Everything that's of myself.

And I just wanna wait on You, my God:I just wanna dwell on Who You are.

Beautiful, beautiful;Oh, I am lost for more to say.Beautiful, beautiful;Oh, Lord, You're beautiful to me.

Here, in Your presence,I am not afraid of brokenness;To wash Your feet with humble tears,I would be poured out till nothing's left.

And I just wanna wait on You, my God:I just wanna dwell on Who You are.

Beautiful, beautiful;Oh, I am lost for more to say.Beautiful, beautiful;Oh, Lord, You're beautiful to me.

Beautiful,You're beautiful, oh You're beautiful!Beautiful, beautiful.

Holy, holy, holy, You are, You are.Holy, holy, holy, You are, You are.Holy, holy, holy, You are, You are.Holy, holy, holy, You are, You are.

Beautiful, beautiful;Oh, I am lost for more to say.Beautiful, beautiful;Oh, Lord, You're beautiful to me.

You're beautiful,Beautiful, beautiful.Beautiful, beautiful.Beautiful.

Blessed:)

Yesterday was my birthday, and wow, I am SO BLESSED YOU GUYS. I was blown away by how much my family cared enough to give me such wonderful things. Most of it was Hello Kitty stuff. Hahaha. But it was great. I'm so glad to have such wonderful people in my life. I also have a new Acer Aspire One netbook! Yeah! My parents blew me away with that. I had no clue. I thought the box was for a, like, picture frame or something. Ba ha ha. But it was amazing. I'm so thankful!

I'm so thankful to my Lord for the blessings He pours out on my life. They're not even necessary. But He gives me such wonderful moments and bits in my life because He wants to see me smile, because we've all had too many sad days. Sometimes, I think He just does things to make us smile for Him. ♥ He's so wonderful.

(*-And, Oh my goodness, my boyfriend just sent me a message letting me know He doesn't think I have big feet, and he only got me large slippers because it was slim pickin's. Ba ha ha ha.-*)

Because I was so tired this afternoon, even after my two hour nap, I decided I definitely needed to fight off the grumpy devil and his temptations to be too lazy to read my Bible, I punched him in the face and got some Bible time in. Man, when the Spirit leads me to read in the Word, I am always so very blessed by what I find there. I read Luke 6:6-11.

And it came to pass also on another sabbath, that he entered into the synagogue and taught: and there was a man whose right hand was withered. And the scribes and Pharisees watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him. But he knew their thoughts, and said to the man which had the withered hand, Rise up, and stand forth in the midst. And he arose and stood forth. Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it? And looking round about upon them all, he said unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other. And they were filled with madness; and communed one with another what they might do to Jesus.

 Okay, here's what has stood out to me in this: The Pharisees were so focused on keeping their own laws that they had made up, that they disregarded the idea of choosing to save a man from his pain and torment in favor of keeping their traditions that they had added to God's law. They considered healing to be practicing medicine, and practicing one's profession was against their laws. But Jesus, Who is the author of the Holy Laws, smacked them in the face with a simple saying. Which one is against the rules? To do good, or to do evil?

We have to ask ourselves, which is better? To keep up with the rules that we have placed into Christianity, or to do the Good works that God has placed us on this earth to do? Which life has purpose and brings Christ joy and glory? I think it's obvious. Think of ways to apply this to your life. Take a chance to minister to someone that you wouldn't want to be associated with. Don't condemn someone because they didn't feel the need to wear suit and tie to church services. Just praise God that they're there, and reach out a hand of friendship to them. Change your heart. Aim to be like our Beautiful Savior. This is what has been burdened on my heart from my time with Him today.

I'm so wonderfully blessed to receive such a loving message from the Lord. And very much burdened to make these changes in my own life. Thank You, Lord! ♥

Love and prayers,

Natalie.

:)

Lately I've been such a Debbie Downer! Boo. None of that. I'm determined to work towards a happier life. :) Yep! I keep expecting something more from my relationship with God lately, and the silly girl I am thought she didn't have to put effort into it. HA! That's a joke! It takes loads of effort.

I heard the song The Space Between Us by Shawn McDonald the other day and I realized, that's what I'm missing. I was so focused on just doing the stuff Christians should and I forgot to actually be seeking to get closer to God. Whatta moron I can be! I realized I have to seek Him out and ask Him to fill all my gaps continually. Not just once. Cuz He'll fill the gaps, sure, but once I get sidetracked, I make new ones, or kick Him back out of the ones He already filled! Ya know? It's ridiculous.

Oh, and I was reading in Luke 5. Verses 12&13 stuck out to me.

In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. "Lord," he said, "if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean." Jesus reached out and touched him. "I am willing," he said. "Be healed!" And instantly the leprosy disappeared.

First off, the guy had leprosy. That was a big deal back then. You got kicked out of the city for having that and you couldn't come back until it started to regress, which didn't usually happen. So the guy boldy came before Jesus, and was, like, "Jesus, I know you can heal me, if you're willing to!" That's a huge step of faith! He already knew Jesus could do it, He just had to ask! So many of us know that God can heal our hurts and fix our hearts but we don't turn to Him. We can be such fools. We know He's right there and willing, but we choose our own vices to numb our pain, when He is able and willing to literally take them away.

Secondly, Jesus chose to heal him by touching him. A man that hadn't been touched in what could have been years, was touched by the Lord of the earth! What a blessing. The loneliness he once had, was now taken away by the touch of the Savior. And He is still willing to touch all of our lives. : ) Sure, Jesus doesn't walk the earth anymore, so we can't ask Him to touch us with His literal hands, but He can still touch our hearts and kindle the fire of love and life inside us. And He is more than willing to. The offer always stands, it's just up to us to take Him up on it. Don't you love that? I do.

So, yeah! That's what's been on my mind. If there's any hurting in your life, I hope you're seeking out God to take away the pain. Seek Him to fill the space between you two. And ask Him to heal you, because He's glad to do so!

Happy hearts ready and waiting for worship tomorrow!
Natalie

Therapy.

As you may or may not have guessed by now, I struggle with depressive moods. A lot. I'm not claiming to be clinically depressed, for fear of belittling a real problem for others that I might not actually be going through. But, I will say I know how it feels to feel hopeless and alone. Wanting to be so much more but confining oneself to bundled lump on a bed, avoiding contact with the outside world. If I had it my way, I might never leave my house again. (Gosh, that sounds really nice. Not worrying about people or events or anything... Not doing anything. I sure make a good hermit.)

I have this ideal self in my head of who I want to be and pretend to be. She's a pretty sociable person, handles people well, and even enjoys going out. She's also thinner, has clear skin, is always happy, has the next year's supply of contacts, and is totally unreal. I'll never be her. I'm not sure I truly want to be her, either. She sounds really fake and stupid. (Sometimes I think I already am fake and stupid, though, so who knows.) But the main point is, she's not real. She's not me. I'll never be close to dream Natalie. She's too far off to actually reach. I have to make do with the person I am. And, at the moment, I have struggles. I'm fighting off an incessant sadness that most of my friends cannot grasp. I'm getting over mono and trying to get my productivity back. I even have a cold, ha ha ha. For a self-centered, almost eighteen-year-old, home schooled high school senior, it's a lot to handle. Especially when you haven't done much for schoolwork this year. The stress of being behind is way too much. Freaks me out.

So, when the devil is trying to confuse me with all that's flooding my head . . . I decided to make a list tonight. A list of God/Truth -vs.- The Devil/Depression. I contrasted the lies of the devil to the truths of God Almighty. It helped me so much. That was my therapy tonight. (Which is nice, because no matter how bad my 'depression' gets, I refuse to go back to the doctor and have her not take me seriously again. Therapy sounds crappy anyways and medication doesn't actually do anything. Screw the system.) The list really forced me to recognize the truth. And it will now be there to redirect me whenever I start to think I'm worthless . . . just a quick glance and I have a reminder that I'm precious to Him. Eventually, the more I reinforce this new thought pattern, I'll hopefully begin to believe it.

Anyways. If any of you have trouble believing God because the lies of this world are overwhelming you . . . just make a list like that. "The devil says __________, but God says ____________". Dare to believe His Words. : ) He loves you sooooo much.

Love and prayers,

Natalie