Do you ever realize that?
I mean, it hurts me, anyways.
I'm supposed to be healing from my own personal hurt. I'm supposed to be getting better. But I make a little progress and then I'm brought back to tears seeing something someone has posted. Tonight, it was a post my boyfriend made on a website. He basically said that if he had the guts to kill himself, he would have a long time ago.
That broke my heart. I don't know how to deal with that kind of statement. I hate seeing him almost in the same position as I am. Those kinds of thoughts aren't healthy, and I can't help but feel like I spread that thinking to him. :(
It sucks.
In brighter news, I'm back on the vegan wagon. I purchased The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone earlier this week, and I'm truly looking forward to finishing re-reading it and making some of the delicious recipes in the book. Everything sounds so delicious. Trying the foods better live up to my expectations, haha.
It's also really weird to type when one hand's nails are way short, and the other hand's are way long. Feels imbalanced.
But, yeah. Tonight kinda sucks. I got to see Katie and watch Silver Linings Playbook, but other than that, my mood is kinda killin' it for me. I've got my chamomile tea, so that's a plus. Maybe I'll watch a cozy movie, drink my tea, and go to bed. Church in the morning. What I really want is just a chance to sleep in. Too much to ask? Probably.
Man, I just want a break. I guess I'll get my break when Christmas rolls around. OR NOT. I'll probably have to work Christmas day or something. What a party.
Sorry I'm so mopey tonight. Heh. (Not sorry enough, though. Get over it.)
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